Out of Our Minds for West Side Story
by IMimelda
Summary: A Klaine two-shot.  Ch1, Friends help Blaine get out of his worried head. Ch2, Rollicking good fun with McKinley's West Side Story, including special guest stars and the sudden musical theatre prowess of one Dave Karofsky.  I might be a bit insane...
1. Inside Blaine's Head

Spoilers for Episodes 3x01 and 3x02. Don't read this until you've seen the first two episodes of season 3. (BTW, Glee people own all of that, which is what's behind all of this.)

I blame this one on Marte. Her amazing character study after Blaine transferred ("See me Please, please see me Save me") has taken over my head until I couldn't bear it any more without getting Klaine to do something about it and get these boys back to a head-space of Klisses!

OK, I suppose I also have to blame all the writers of Glee, because they started it.

*points finger at like 9 people sitting around a table at Fox Studios discussing ideas for Klaine tribulations

Go read Marte's story. It will make you think. It will probably compel you inescapably to write about it, as it did to me. She was just so right about how someone would feel in that situation, I had to explore it too. Hers is better, and more like real life than mine. http .net/s/7401222/1/See_me_Please_please_see_me_Save_me

My advice on reading the chapter below: just go with the flow of Blaine's thoughts, and read along on his roller coaster. His thoughts have reasons to flow the way they do. Oh and of course everything is a metaphor, as our thoughts tend to be sometimes.

The second chapter is All Fluff. It changes to third person omniscient, and is a fun rollicking series of rehearsals. Lots of Fluff! Not that there isn't enough fluff in the first chapter eventually.

This first chapter is all Blaine's thoughts, plus dialogue he takes part in with others.

* * *

><p><span>Inside Blaine's Head  Fake It Til You Make It.

Read for Tony? Why did they put me in that position and even ASK me that? I only wrote down Bernardo! What's wrong with Bernardo? He owns the stage almost as much as Tony does. Better, even. He dances more. Who else is gonna be able to act like Bernardo?

OK I shouldn't have said that wimpy "...or Officer Krupke..." That was stupid. They'd never believe I would mean that. He doesn't even sing or dance. I should have said Riff. Riff sings way more than Bernardo does anyway.

But Kurt is perfect for Riff. Oh, gosh, Kurt should be Riff! But Kurt has his heart set on Tony.

The one thing that could make me feel normal again at this horrible school, the one thing that could help me stop feeling so _lost_ here, and I can't do it without hurting the one and only person I feel safe with here in the first place.

I CAN'T audition for Tony. WHY did I pick that song? Why didn't I sing "Cool" or "Gee, Officer Krupke" OH MAN, imagine Kurt singing those! He could dance in his all-over-the-stage athletic style, doing flips and spins and climbing the walls and hanging from scaffolding! Riff does more singing and dancing than almost anyone else in the whole musical, and he's the funniest one. He plays masculine and street like nobody else. He's confident, he can be tough and a bad-ass gang leader and also funny and campy all at the same time. Kurt is SO Riff! NYADA would notice him!

That school wouldn't care if he played the lead in a musical. They would only care that he made a huge impact as an amazing character, adding his own incredible spin on it, and THAT would get him noticed above all the other yahoos who only make perfect leads in all their musicals, adding nothing unique.

There's nothing world-changing he can do with Tony. Tony is just Tony. Why is he so set on playing boring Tony? WHY did I sing a Tony song? Did I subconsciously think I'd be the best Tony of everyone auditioning? Crap, crap, crap. NO! I don't care if I have the lead. I'm in my element up there on stage playing a character and singing and dancing my butt off whether it's the lead or not. I'd RATHER sing and dance as Bernardo or Riff. They're much more athletic and out-there than Tony. Tony is all dapper and sweet and friendly and reasoned. I don't fit Tony.

I fit Bernardo, fighting for his people and their right to own the streets just as much as the Jets even though they're immigrants. He's mad. He's tired of being put down. He's tough. He cares about his people. He's ready to fight for them. He's the most bad-ass guy in the whole show. Who else could play him?

Bernardo is what I want. I want Kurt to get the lead like he wants. He REALLY wants the lead. Crap. Why didn't I think fast enough to just tell Artie what I really want? Why did I just walk off the stage saying "I'd prefer Bernardo, but... can you give me some time to think about it?" Why do I always have this compulsion to _please_ everyone all the time? Why can't I think of what I _want_ to say right away instead of the first thing that comes to my head is always what I think will make the other person feel good at the time? Damn it.

I should have said "Bernardo needs someone like me to play him," and I should have thought of Riff! I should have said "Riff and Bernardo need strong singers and dancers and there are only so many people who could pull off those roles. You have some pretty good possibilities who could play Tony but who probably wouldn't be right as Riff or Bernardo." Oh Get Real. There's no way I'd _ever_ say anything like that to someone who's directing the frigging show. Damn it.

Kurt. I should call Kurt. I haven't talked to him since glee practice. Is it too late? 9:15. He's still up. Why hasn't he called me? Why haven't I called him? God, he's the one I want to talk to, about how scared I am being at a new school all of a sudden, about how conflicted I am about this stupid frigging musical. But he's going to be just as conflicted about the musical as I am. He's going to say he wants me to be Tony, and inside he'll be dying because he had his heart set on getting the lead in his last chance in high school to get a lead in a musical.

He really could play Tony. He'd be great. His voice would be probably the best Tony out of everyone auditioning, including me. He has the best range out of all of us and can belt any note Tony hits. Way better than the rest of us could. Kurt knows that. He's going to think they're giving the lead role to the person who looks the part more than he does, and he's going to feel type-cast. He's going to want to fight against type-casting, and I won't stand in the way of that. But if I tell him THAT, he'll think I'm bowing out just for him. He already thinks I transferred just for him.

Did I? Did I? No. I don't think so. I don't know! I keep telling myself it's so that I can stand up for myself in a public school like I wasn't able to do in my Freshman year. But COME ON! Who needs to practice standing up to bullies every single moment of every single day for years? That's not a lesson that needs all that practice. Experience doing it once and you're done.

School should be for learning and getting into college, and it's impossible when you're stressed out and looking over your shoulder worried about your own safety and even WORSE, feeling like everyone is against you and looking down on you all the time. It's psychological warfare and it completely obliterates any real learning you can possibly get out of the day.

It's not "running" if you go find a school where you can actually learn in class rather than get beat up so bad outside the Sadie Hawkins dance that you end up in the F*%#ing hospital.

Calm down. Call Kurt. I don't know. Call Nick. Call David. Call Aunt Stacie. Damn it, all I want to do is talk to Kurt. I want to be in Kurt's arms, talking and laughing. Damn this stupid school and stupid musical. OK, so I can do this for a year. It's better to be with Kurt more and share things with him at school all the time instead of being at different schools where we wouldn't be in direct personal competition with each other but we also would only see each other on some nights and most weekends. I want to be around Kurt all the time. And it's only a year.

It's like doing Junior year abroad as a foreign exchange student. At least I know the language they speak at McKinley, even though the rest of it is a culture shock. But I don't know anyone except for Kurt and his friends who aren't my friends yet.

STUPID FINN! What is wrong with him? He likes me! He's my boyfriend's brother! I was so nervous walking into that choir room, and all he did was accuse me of setting fire to the piano? Seriously? Like he doesn't even know me for shit! Why would he even think that? And then make me feel like shit when I was clearly trying to get into the choir room without showing how nervous I was. Doesn't he know me at all by now? Man! Alright so I guess I waltzed into the room all acting cool and babbling something about "OH, it's gonna be so great, Here I am I'm so awesome, and We're all going to Nationals together" or whatever the freak I said to try to ingratiate myself to all of them stupidly.

WHY is this freaking me out so much? It's just a stupid school! I know all of them in that room, we spent the summer doing things together. They're kind of my friends already, sort of. Not a single one of them made me feel comfortable or welcome when I had to walk into that room, though. Finn with his stupid anger, what the hell? I was walking into the room for the first time, a new school, new everything, you'd think they'd do something to make me feel more comfortable no matter what I was saying on the outside.

When I'm sitting in a room like that I ALWAYS do something to make the new kid feel better, I don't care if they look like they're acting all confident and fine. I know most people don't do that. But f*%# it, they know me already and they're supposed to be kind of my friends sort of. Maybe that's the problem; they figure I'm fine and comfortable because I already know all of them.

But every single class I'm in, I'm all alone. Tina's in one of my classes. That's it. She's sweet and all, but I'm all alone all day long in a school where everyone knows I'm gay and everyone hates people who are gay. That did not go well for me last time.

OK, it's only a year. It's like foreign exchange. I can do it for a year. I can't do this. I want Kurt. Damn it, I want Kurt back! Am I losing him _because_ I transferred? This is stupid. I'm going to call him.

WHY didn't he notice that I had already decided to go to Dalton? I had already started classes there. I was sitting there in my Dalton uniform. Why didn't he ever ask me how I really felt about it? He will. He always does. He was just so happy that I changed my mind and transferred. I told him why I did it, and I didn't give him any reason to think there was anything else, or that I'm having a hard time with it.

But DAMN IT, why doesn't he want to ask me about it? He knows what happened to me at my old school. He knows how scared I was even just to attend one stupid prom at his school. He knows from personal experience what it's like to be scared at school like I was at my old school, and how much it meant to him and helped him to have someone like me to talk to about it! WHY doesn't he want to help me? Or even ask if I want to talk about any of it? He KNOWS that coming to this school would bring up everything for me about my old school.

He's waiting for me to have a break-down about it or cry on his shoulder about it before he even thinks to talk about it? Yeah, maybe the problem is that I keep telling him I'm fine and acting completely fine so he doesn't think I need to talk about anything. But he KNOWS me. He should be able to see whenever I'm covering my fear with all this confidence shit. He's seen through it before. Lots of times. And THIS one is pretty big and important. I got the living daylights beat out of me at my old school. And that was ON TOP OF all the abandonment and ostracizing after I came out there. How can he not even ask once about how I'm doing here at a school that he knows is even worse about bullying?

Alright, he's not superman. He's not a mind reader. But damn it! I just want him to think of me. I want him to ask. I am such a stupid weak dumb idiotic weakling of a weak dumb-ass. Sitting around wishing my boyfriend would magically know exactly what I want him to want to do. But I WANT him to WANT to ask me about me! I do. Damn it. I suck.

And I want to be Bernardo.

God, what if Kurt is Riff? We could have all those awesome athletic dances against each other. He'd be leading all the football guys as the Jets, and maybe I can get some of the Warblers to be the Sharks. Oh my god! That's awesome! That would be so cool! We don't have any drama club at Dalton! I mean, _they_ don't.

I'd be the leader of the Sharks, with the Warblers all dancing like pros behind me, and Kurt would be the leader of the Jets with Coach Beiste and Mr. Schuester getting the football guys to be as cool and tough and kick-ass as they were as zombies in the half-time show last year!

And that knife fight between Riff and Bernardo! Kurt and I would have to practice that over and over, just the two of us, getting our moves down just right and deciding what kind of clothing works best to dance in and jump into each others arms in pretending to fight... Oh jeeze, he has to be Riff.

Mike would kick butt as Bernardo. Oh, damn it. He'd be perfect. They're gonna make me play Tony.

Then Kurt and I would rehearse all the Tony and Riff best-friend scenes...

Kurt's never going to be happy not getting the lead. He's never going to see Riff like I see Riff; the perfect way for Kurt to steal the whole show. He would SO steal the show as Riff. He'd make Riff come to life more than anyone else ever could. How can I convince him to get the attention of NYADA by playing Riff? He's just going to think I want to play Tony.

What is it? 9:40. He's still up, right? Shit shit shit.

"Hey baby."

"Hey Kurt. Hey. Huhm. ...so... how was you daayy?"

"Haha. Yeah. I think we actually talked to each other more when we were going to different schools, huh?"

"Kurt, god, I wish I could go over there right now."

"OK, so why don't we act like we did after I transferred to McKinley and you'd text me all day long?"

"Oh my god, I miss that. I'd get the most random things from you and then later you'd apologize that Puck stole your phone and sent me that text to mess with you, or you were in the middle of typing and Mercedes hit send so she could get your attention back. Those were so awesome. They totally made my day."

"I know. You were so far away, but we talked all the time. I think since I know I'm going to see you in the hall again soon anyway, and I'm going to see you in glee, I don't think about texting you. I'm sitting in class thinking about you, but I figure I'll see you soon enough. But then I never see you in the halls, and glee is so short..."

"Kurt, I should be texting you all day even though you're in the same building. I don't know, I just... Everything is all just new for me I guess."

"I wish I could come over there right now.

"I know."

"Well I should go back to sleep, I have to drive Finn to - "

"Oh my god, I woke you up? I didn't mean to do that, Kurt. You shouldn't have picked up."

"Blaine, I'd never ignore a call from you no matter when it was."

"I'm so in love with you Kurt."

"Oh, jeez. I love it when you say that. You know I feel the same, right? Blaine, meet me before school? I can't wait to see you. I'm getting Finn there early anyway, so we can meet out by the steps? I mean, if it's not hard for you to get there early."

"No, I want to. That'd be great, Kurt. So um, what steps?"

"Oh, god, I keep forgetting you don't know your way around McKinley already! You know, the 'Somewhere Only We Know' steps! Heh."

"Ah. I like those steps."

"I've liked them a lot more ever since _then_."

"I'm glad I could make a good memory for you there. Back when I couldn't be there with you every day."

"Well now they're also the 'It's Not Unusual' steps as well."

"Let's just call them 'our steps' now, why don't we? Hey, is that piano always out there, or do those jazz ensemble kids wheel it out whenever they want it?"

"I think they just run out there to rescue it whenever it rains. That's why it sounds so bad; it's suffered a lot of weathering."

"Ah. Well, I hope 'our' piano is out there tomorrow morning next to 'our' steps."

"See you then. Good night, Baby."

"Sweet dreams."

"Great. Now that song's in my head. Thanks a lot, Blaine!"

(*Blaine singing into the phone) "Say nighty night and kiss me, Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me, While I'm alone and blue as can be, And dream a little dream of me."

(*Kurt singing into phone) "Sweet dreams 'til sunbeams find you. Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you,"

(*Both singing together) "But in your dreams whatever they be, Dream a little dream of me."

(*Blaine singing into phone) "Dreeeeeeam... a little dream... of me...!"

"Yeah that helped, Blaine. Now it's definitely not gonna be in my head anymore and I'm definitely not going to fall asleep with your voice ringing through my ears."

"You're welcome."

"Love you."

He loves me. He loves me. See? He loves me. I know he loves me, that was never a question. So what the hell am I so worried about? He doesn't have to try to make me cry on his shoulder all the time to prove that he's thinking about my feelings. Man, why would he even want to ask me things on purpose to expose my deepest darkest feelings of inadequacy and fear? That's so stupid. If I'm fine and he loves me, why would he have to be all Barbara Walters and pry into my past fears to try to make me drag up feelings that would not help at all in getting used to a new school? I am SO freaking stupid.

* * *

><p>OK, it's like... more than a half hour before school starts! I thought this place would be totally empty.<p>

Why the hell are so many people here?

I should sit at the piano. It's the only seat anyway, and the people sitting up on the stairs are all the smokers and stoners and oh there's Quinn... no, Quinn is not good news right now. She's back to her baby-doll dresses and stuff but she's still talking to those "skanks" people, about who the hell knows what.

The piano isn't the place where I'd feel comfortable for once, though. It would make me stick out even worse than I am already. I'd usually just start playing something, but the only person I know out here is Quinn and she's more lost than I am right now, and anyone else out here will probably try to break my hands by slamming the lid down on my fingers as soon as I start to play. These are not the people who get to school early to get some extra studying in.

What the..."HEY! WATCH IT!" Damn It F*%#ing SH%#! Kurt's arms. Not someone grabbing me from behind. Well, someone grabbing me from behind, but someone I want to grab me from behind. Warm arms, safe arms. Not unknown danger for unknown reasons in a hostile situation. Just Kurt arms. Warm, welcome, loving, happy and bouncing with enthusiasm, awesome, perfect, beautiful Kurt arms. He thinks I'm a freak now for jumping like that and yelling at him...

"Jumpy, are we? Didn't have your coffee yet, Baby?"

"Kurt. I was just... I guess I was lost in thought or something..."

"Well never fear... this thermos is full of Carole's amazing nutmeg coffee! You look like you were heading for the piano? At least that's where you were staring when you were lost in thought..."

"Yeah. That would be nice, actually. You and me. We could go sit at the piano together. I mean... Would it... like... bother?... anyone?... if we played something?"

"Haha... Silly, No, why would it bother anyone? A free concert from an amazing piano player? Oh my gosh, will you play 'Dream a Little Dream' for me? I still can't get it out of my head! I must have dreamt about you singing it all night or something."

"Well isn't that cool..." Damn it I wish I could kiss him right now. Damn it. All I can do is whisper to him and try not to let anyone notice that my whispering might look in any way romantic but I know Kurt's face will react to the romance in my voice anyway no matter how I try to hide it, but maybe no one is looking right at his face anyway... "I'm glad... Maybe I should do that every night..."

OK, this is alright. No one seems to care about the piano playing. This is nice. This is really cool, actually. Kurt knows his school. He's cool about sitting with me at a piano while I play. This is bliss, at least it feels like it except I wish he could lean against me without people being weird about it. I wish I could sing it to him again, but just playing is good enough. Well, my morning voice kind of sucks anyway, and coffee doesn't do it any favors, so no big loss.

"Delicious coffee, by the way. Thanks, Kurt. It's amazing."

"I KNOW! Carole makes the best."

"So... um... did you hear about Artie?"

"What about him?"

"He asked me to read for Tony, but I told him I wanted to audition for Bernardo."

"Oh."

"I really would rather be Bernardo, Kurt. He dances more!"

"Well. You really would be a great Tony. I can see why he asked."

"But Kurt, I'm a Junior, and -"

"Blaine, stop. You know that has nothing to do with it. They won't see it that way."

"Kurt, you should go for Tony. I want to see you audition your butt off for Tony. And... also... I mean, Riff is really awesome, have you thought about Riff as well?"

"Blaine, I have to get the lead if I want to have any chance at getting into NYADA."

"Not necessarily, Kurt. You could -"

"Let's not talk about this. We're not the directors. It's up to them. Whatever."

"Kurt -"

"That's the bell. We don't want to be late."

"OK, we'll text?"

"Yeah. I know. I'll text you every time I think about you today."

"Less than three?"

"Don't be silly, Blaine! ...maybe some x's and o's."

"Hahaha. OK, see you in glee."

"Yeah."

He'd better not stay mad. Why didn't I say I love you? Oh man, don't be such a doofus. You don't have to say it every two minutes. We're not insecure idiots. We're perfect together. He's pissed about Tony. He's not going to want to play anyone else. This is going to suck.

Oh, man. Calculus. All seniors. I hate this class. At least, I know this class hates me. Whatever, probably not. I'm an idiot. They're probably all totally fine with me. They probably all like me. They probably all just hate being in calculus. They probably all have to do it in order to get into a good college and their parents and Miss Pillsbury are telling them they have to take it. They're not thinking about me. They're thinking about how much they don't care what x equals.

X. I should text Kurt. Those are the kind of x's I can write all day.

* * *

><p>"Kurt, I'm telling you, stop worrying about what Artie said at lunch. There's no way he already knows who they're casting for all the parts. Not everyone has even auditioned yet!"<p>

"What do you have to worry about? You're so obviously going to be Tony."

"I want to see you going for Tony. I want to see you doing all those things you were planning to do to show them you can BE that part."

"Hmph. It's yours and you know it."

"I really want to be Bernardo! Seriously. And Kurt, if you're not Tony, I wouldn't mind you being Riff and getting to rehearse all our dances together, and honestly Kurt you would absolutely kill as Riff, you know that?"

"Blaine, you do not really want to be Bernardo instead of Tony. You're just saying that for me. You're always so self-sacrificing and overly thoughtful! It's too much, Blaine, because it starts to get... annoying! Let me compete against you and one of us will win fair and square!"

"I'm not competing against you, Kurt."

"It doesn't matter. They're picking you anyway, even if you insist to them that you won't do it. They'll cast everyone else and tell you that you're their only hope for Tony and otherwise there's no part for you."

"So... In this scenario, Kurt, what did they cast you as?"

"I don't know, maybe Riff... Shut up! OK, its a good part, but I bet they'll cast me as one of the back-up dancer girl parts or maybe nothing."

"Well I don't think they'll do either of those. But maybe you should consider really going for Riff and showing them what you could do with that part."

"Blaine! Stop. I don't want second place."

"He's the leader of the Jets!"

"Can we PLEASE talk about something else?"

"OK."

"Fine."

"Um, I kind of like my English class... That's something anyway... Except wait until you hear what they're making us read!"

"What, Romeo and Juliet?"

"Kurt, what is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem."

"Kurt, I was only trying to help. Why am I always the one you're mad at when you're the one flipping out over nothing?"

"NOTHING?"

"Kurt, don't go. Stop Kurt, wait!"

"There's nothing you can say to me."

"No? Really? I can say that I'm scared out of my mind every minute of the day when I'm in the unfamiliar halls of McKinley and I don't know a single person out there and my only real friend is you but you're not in any of my classes and it's not possible to see you in the halls between classes and the only time I ever get to see the one person who I feel safe with at this school is in glee club and whenever we're there all we talk about is this stupid musical that I wish didn't even exist at this point because EVEN the opportunity to do the ONE THING I really love and the ONE THING that ever makes me feel alive and could possibly make me feel like myself again in the middle of this hostile school where every glance I get in the halls feels like either hate or fear or simple distrust and hesitance, even though being up on that stage would make everything feel better, it's NOT WORTH IT if it tears the only person I truly care about in the first place and the only person I would give up anything for, away from me. It's not worth it, Kurt. And I wish it wasn't worth it for you." Oh CRAP shut up Blaine why did I say that?

"Wait I didn't mean that last part, Kurt. I know how you feel about me. I know you care and you'd give up anything to be with me too, and this stupid musical isn't going to break us up no matter who gets what. It's just that I... It's just... -"

"Blaine. Shut up."

"What?"

"Shut up. I don't think you're saying what you're really thinking about. It's not about the musical or even me. I know that. Blaine, why didn't you tell me how hard it was for you to be at McKinley? Do you regret transferring? Are you doing OK? Is it really that bad?"

Oh my god why can't I speak? Stupid tears behind my eyes. Stay there, damn it, this is not Barbara Walters. Shit he's looking at my eyes all glassy, weak, shit they're not teary yet are they? No. Stupid stupid stupid.

Pull it together. Show him you're fine, you'll be fine, as long as you have him everything is great and you're perfectly capable of making lots of friends at whatever new school you could possibly spend a year at. Tell him there are some perfectly friendly and nice people in some of my classes. The New Directions members will get closer to me as we get to know each other better. It's fine, I'm fine. I'm smiling, I'm as confident and positive as always.

"Blaine. Stop trying to hide behind some veneer of bravery. I'm here for you. You can talk to me about anything, everything."

OK... Um. Damn it. Why can't I? Why can't I?

"Come here. Hug me. Baby... You don't have to spill all your feelings to me all the time, you don't have to tell me everything you're thinking right now. Just know that you can tell me anything any time, OK? Can you come over tonight? Do you want to just lay in my arms and watch TV mindlessly?"

"I really am fine here, Kurt. It takes some adjusting, but I'll be fine."

"Tell me about it?"

"OK."

"Well for now, can you just tell me if you don't want to be here, because I can help you with anything you want."

"No, you know what? I do want to be here. I want to be with you and I want to find my way at a new school. I can finish up at Dalton next year. I want this year to be about figuring out stuff I'd never figure out at Dalton."

"Like what?"

"I don't entirely know yet."

"You're weird, Blaine."

"Ha ha."

How does he always know exactly what to say to me? OK well not always. But eventually. He always eventually knows exactly what to say to me to make feel good.

His hair feels so good in my hands, the back of his neck feels even better... he's looking a bit shocked that I'm pulling him toward me, is he going to... no, he's not even looking around. He's psyched. He's excited. He doesn't give a crap if anyone is around and he doesn't even want to move his eyes from mine to check. Oh my god I love him. Here you go, Kurt. The best in-school kiss anyone has ever gotten in the history of the world, right here, right now.

His lips, oh my god, I could feel these all day, his hair, his shoulders, I can't stop grabbing for him even though he's right here and... we're doing _this_! His breath on my face, how do I ever live without it for even a minute? And the taste of him, I could just keep tasting him forever, oh my god can I? I don't want to stop. He loves me. He loves kissing me. He can't get enough of me. He keeps trying to get deeper as if that was even possible. Oh shit, did I hurt him? No he's fine. The locker was just loud when I pushed him up against it.

What am I even thinking? My arm is what hit the locker, and his head was in my hand, what is wrong with me worrying that he hit the locker, he didn't even. How did I not even feel my arm though? Oh. His lips, his tongue, his teeth, both his hands in my hair... Who could notice anything else that happens to them when there's _that_ going on?

What is that annoying sound? I don't care. He's kissing me. He's kissing me. I can't stop kissing him. I can't stop. Brittany. It's Brittany trying to say something. Or maybe she keeps saying something and I keep trying to understand but I can't make sense of anything besides Kurt Kurt Kurt, tasting Kurt, feeling Kurt, being one with Kurt in this moment, here and now and Brittany! Aaargh!

"What?"

OK I can sort of make out her face now. She looks like she's answering my question. But I want to go back to kissing Kurt. What is she talking about?

" ...like root-beer or like chewing tobacco?"

"What?"

Heh. Kurt just asked the same thing I did a second ago. Brittany probably gets the question _what_ a lot.

"Does he taste better than other guys?"

"Well now Brittany, how am I supposed to know the answer to that?"

"Because I told you what other guys taste like, and you know what he tastes like, and I bet you anything he tastes better than most boys because he's much sweeter than most boys."

I guess I have to respond to that one. "Um... Thanks, Britt?"

OK, she cracks me up sometimes. She takes some getting used to, but I'm starting to like her more and more these days.

"Brittany, leave the guys alone. They probably only have like a minute until they both have to get to their next class, and they barely get any time together."

"But isn't that weird for you, Finn? I mean he's your brother!"

"How many times has he seen me and Rachel kissing? He's never complained."

"Does Rachel ever tell you that you taste like root beer?"

"Let's give the guys some time before their class, Brittany, come on. I'll show you the Alaska and California quarters I found."

These two are so funny. Kurt's faces are so funny, watching them and looking at me to comment on them silently. Oh my gosh this is so awesome. It's like they're doing an impromptu comedy show for us. A Punch and Judy puppet show or something. They are too awesome. Kurt is trying just as hard as I am not to laugh audibly. Oh my gosh my face hurts from trying not to laugh.

"Oh Blaine, before I go see Finn's half-a-Mountain-Dew money, I just wanted to tell you... I really like you, and I want to see more of you."

"Brittany, that's nice, but I'm with Kurt."

"Oh no, I didn't mean it that way, Sweetie Rootbeer. I just mean that all anyone ever sees of you is this over-confident kind of unreal act, and I can't wait to meet the real you soon. It's like, I've seen a little bit of the real you sometimes, but I want to meet all of him. You know? It's OK to be stupid sometimes in front of us, because we want to love the real you who is probably really stupid just like the rest of us."

Oh my god. Brittany. She's like... smart. Like, really smart. But, in a really weird way.

"OK, well, I have to go get my quarters together with Finn's so they can make a Mountain Dew before lunch time!"

"Brittany, I'm not giving you my quarters! They're cool. They're the new Alaska and California quarters!"

"They work in Ohio vending machines, though, right?"

I'm sure it's OK to laugh now. Too late. Kurt laughed first anyway. He's doubled over in my arms, which he probably did on purpose. I am not complaining. These arms were right there to catch him before he even thought about it anyway.

Stupid bell. Alright, I can give him one more quick kiss right? Peck at his hair and ear as he recovers from his laughter. Oh that did the trick. Stopped his laughing, turned into kissing right away. Nice. Alright. Class. Have to get there. So does Kurt.

This kiss can linger just one more second? Yeah. Sweet Kurt. Amazing Kurt.

"Bye, Kurt."

"See you at lunch, Baby. I mean, Sweetie Root Beer."

"See ya."

English. Shoot, I forgot my Chaucer. I'm going to have to read along with the classroom copy today. The only one left is the non-translated Middle English example. Great. That's gonna be fun. Actually, it might be kind of cool doing that. When the girl next to me had to do that yesterday we were laughing about it every time she showed me the most wacky-looking older words. This will be fun. That girl is a little like Brittany in a way. Man, what _was_ that with Brittany just now?

The real me? Like I'm not the real me when I'm standing right there in front of her? What did she say? I'm unreal? I should be stupid just like the rest of them? Weird. Maybe it's like... I don't know. The words don't make sense but somehow... I don't know. I have to be stupid so they can know me for real? Huh. It's weird. It kind of makes sense for a split second. I don't know.

I like Mike when he's trying a weird new move that might not work or when he's begging Tina to do something with his parents and stuff. I like Puck when he admits he shouldn't have left a restaurant without paying and tells Artie he'll pay him back by teaching him how to play guitar, and I like Artie for agreeing to that even though he already plays guitar and I wouldn't think Puck's lessons would make up for Artie having to run back in to pay his bill for him, and I like Artie for doing that to help out the poor waitress in the first place. I like Rachel when she realizes she was being manipulative of everyone and does something to make up for it, like asking someone else to do a solo that day, and I like Mercedes when she acts all diva and then tones it down to say something nice to someone who needs it. What did she say to Kurt at Breadstix that one time? It sounded really cool. It was something like, "It's OK to be fabulous _and_ flawed."

I never think those people are stupid. Well, I do. But then I just like them for it.

I have to just not worry about being stupid because we're all stupid. And we're all awesome. Oh, jeez. I _am_ an idiot. I've been an idiot this whole time.

But you know what? I'm not gonna hide that anymore.

Brittany. Ha. The sage at the top of the mountain. I just had to climb Kurt to get to talk to her! Hahahahahaha


	2. Out of Our Minds, Into West Side Story

Now we put on a musical! Pure, rollicking fun.

(I guess I didn't show Blaine figuring out HOW to get himself past his dapper-shield. We can assume he did that between the chapters, and enjoy his results.)

I recommend that you watch this video of the song "Cool."

http .com/watch?v=xkdP02HKQGc&feature= youtube_gdata_player

You don't have to watch it before reading, but it's a scene from the 1961 movie of West Side Story, and you'll see why it's nice to have it in your head when you get to that part of the story.

(If the link doesn't work after removing the spaces, just search YouTube with "West Side Story Cool" and several postings of that scene in the movie will come up.) Of course we all are going to legally rent and purchase the movie and all that as well. And we'll buy Stephen Sondheim's book "Finishing The Hat" because his lyrics are some of the best examples of writing you'll find in this century.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 2: Out of Our Minds and Into West Side Story<span>

"Warblers, can we have you over on the right side of the room please?" At Mr. Schuester's direction, the 8 Warblers in attendance rose from their chairs and moved easily into dancing positions.

"Football team, can you set up on the left?" Mr. Schue didn't notice the wary looks the 7 assembled football players gave each other before they began emerging from their chairs, unsure of where exactly to go. At a stern look from Coach Beiste they shuffled to the left of the space and stood around crossing their arms.

Mr. Schuester asked no one in particular, "Where's David Karofsky?"

Tommy Parkman fidgeted and glanced at Azimio, hazarding a response, "He's uhhhh,..."

Crossing from her spot beside Mr. Schue by the piano, Coach Beiste took one of the Warbler's vacated seats. "I told him that if he didn't learn the Jets dances, he couldn't play on the team this year. He said he'd be here."

Emma followed Coach Beiste in the same path and sat next to her, looking like she was getting cozy and anticipating a fun dance rehearsal today.

Speaking up from his wheelchair next to Mr. Schue, Artie remembered, "Oh, Dave let me know he couldn't be here tonight. He said that he had to _work on something mandatory._ I don't... really know what that means..."

Noticing Coach Beiste's scowl, Mr. Schue moved things forward saying, "OK, so we'll catch him up next time."

A couple of the football players looked a little annoyed that they had to be there if Dave could get away with skipping out on it. The rest of them knew better. Azimio in particular knew exactly where Dave was, and that it was kind of the opposite of skipping practice, in a way.

Rallying the troops, Mr. Schuester clapped his hands together to get everyone focussed. "Alright dancers! First of all, I'd like to thank the Warblers who came out today. I know you don't have a drama club at Dalton, and we'd love to have you in the musical if we can convince you to do it.

Football guys, I want you to know that we appreciate you being here too. I know you didn't choose it, but I think you're gonna have a lot of fun."

He gestured to the football guys to bring it in closer so that everyone formed more of a dance space. "So how I think we'll do this, is we'll have you football guys play the Jets, and you Warbler guys, you'll play the Sharks. Or do you think we should mix it up?"

There was a resounding no, as both groups of boys unanimously agreed that the original plan sounded best.

"You know, we're so used to dancing together already," Jeff offered, "it will give a better look of two different gangs, with their own unique styles."

"OK," Mr. Schuester freely used his hands and arms to emphasize his points and moved like a dancer even though all he was doing was telling a story. "So the Jets are a tough gang of street-savvy American boys ruling their neighborhood in New York in the 1950's, and the Sharks are an equally tough gang of Puerto Rican immigrants battling for their own dominion over the neighborhood."

Nick snuck a look over at Jeff as soon as Mr. Schue said "equally tough" and they both grinned brightly at this.

Mr. Schue strode away from the piano and nodded to Brad at the keys as he used his body language to stake his space for dancing. "Jeff's right, they should each have their own style and attitude, but both gangs are going to dance to the same type of choreography, so that's what we're going to start on today." He was quite obviously about to break into a dance as an example. As the opening strains of the West Side Story overture emerged from the piano, he broke out in a jazz-handed crouch. "Get ready to get Fosse, guys!"

The Warblers all raised their eyebrows in understanding and bounced on their heels in anticipation of learning some good Bob Fosse moves.

The football guys all raised their eyebrows to show that none of them knew what the heck Mr. Schue was talking about (what is _getting flossy_?) and leaned back on their heels in fear of the fact that they were about to find out.

~.~

As much as the football guys tried to act like they thought all this was stupid, they kept glancing over at the Warblers and trying not to get caught looking, because some of the moves those guys were doing were more like feats of strength that the football guys would never dare to try. But then again, they kind of wanted to.

The team's Fullback, Tommy Parkman, especially thought that if he could jump that high while spinning like _that_ at the same time, he'd be able to get through any defensive line-up, hell, he'd be able to MAKE his own hole instead of looking for one in the defense.

Jeff kept stealing peaks at the biggest of the guys, and by the end of the session, his dance moves had taken on a lot more of a macho quality. It was as if imitating some of the kind of resistance to "fancy dancing" the football guys showed in their body language and the holding-back lumbering quality that the least-willing jocks had in their attempts to dance with their constant fear of looking girly, actually gave Jeff the kind of inspiration for his Sharks street dance style that perhaps Bob Fosse once had.

Nick watched Jeff. And after he noticed what Jeff was doing, the imitation spread through the Warblers.

As the session wore on, unbeknownst to Mr. Schuester the guys were all starting to pick up more and more from each other, and the two groups were starting to gel, with each group moving more and more like the other group, but still enough different from each other in style that Fosse would be proud. Mr. Schuester was proud, and he could only assume that he had taught them well.

"Wow, you guys are really picking this up!" Mr. Schuester clapped for them as though his audience of one was giving them a standing ovation. Emma and Shannon (which Coast Beiste was insisting that all the drama club kids call her during rehearsals) joined in the clapping. Artie gave out a loud hoot for the guys. Mr. Schue nodded happily. "Good work today, guys. We'll start on some of the fight scenes on Thursday when Riff, Bernardo and Tony are here for that dance rehearsal. Alright?"

The Warblers all responded with enthusiasm and thanked the directors kindly.

The jocks all grumbled and shuffled out, but everyone else in the room could tell that they were actually looking forward to it.

* * *

><p>Tina leaned on Mike's shoulder, slurping up the last of her frozen-coke slushy as her boyfriendpillow sang along with Kurt, Blaine and Rachel in the chairs of the choir room during lunch time.

Mike's voice resounded clearly as Bernardo, singing, "They're gonna get it tonight, The more they turn it on, The harder they'll fall!"

Kurt sang out as Riff, "Well they began it." And Mike answered in turn, "Well they began it." And Kurt finished with "And we're the ones to stop 'em once and for all."

Blaine and Rachel then harmonized together on, "Tonight, tonight, I'll see my love tonight. Tonight there will be no morning star..."

There was something truly cathartic about singing the 'Tonight' Quintet for Kurt, every time he got to interrupt Tony and Maria's sweet love-song parts with Riff's fighting words. "And we're the ones to stop' em once and for all, The Jets are gonna have their way, The Jets are gonna have their day, We're gonna rock it TONIGHT!" It was pretty good motivation.

Toward the end of the song, Brittany skipped into the choir room eating an apple and smiling at everyone.

Blaine greeted her excitedly. "Graziella, would you like to pretend to be Anita for a minute so you can sing her part in the quintet with us?"

"Who me? A Jet girl? Pretend to be the girlfriend of the leader of the Sharks? Are you kidding me? I'm Graziella; I wouldn't deign to pretend to be _Anita_!"

"That won't be necessary!" Sugar Matta entered the room as though a star had suddenly arrived at the scene, and threw her arms out to announce her presence. "Never fear, ANITA IS HERE!"

They all rolled their eyes except for Brittany, who beamed a smile out at her and clapped for Sugar's entrance.

Miss Shelby had definitely worked her vocal training magic on the girl, and had whipped Sugar into a pretty decent singer.

Tina and Santana both still couldn't believe that she had been given the part of Anita, but in the end everyone could see that her acting style was perfect for Anita, and her voice was the perfect range for the role. The clincher was that she had absolutely no inhibitions about acting through song, and doing everything big. Now if she could only learn and remember her lines any time soon, she could bring every Anita-like part of herself out every moment she was on stage.

Grabbing Mike's hands, she pulled him out of his chair and into the middle of the room, and started right in on her part. Only, it was from an entirely different scene. "Once an immigrant, ALWAYS an immigrant!"

Mike instantly obliged with his Bernardo response, "Hey look! Instead of a shampoo, she's been brainwashed!" and swept her into a spin. Of course she promptly fell over as usual, but Mike was quick to swing her back into position in time for her to start in on her song.

"Puerto Rico, My heart's devotion... Let it sink back in the ocean!"

Mike naturally expressed his character through dance as Sugar strutted about and sang at him.

"Always the hurricanes blowing, Always the population growing, And the money owing, And the sunlight streaming, And the natives steaming! ...I like the island Manhattan! Smoke on your pipe and put that in!"

Rachel, Britt and Tina couldn't help it, and they jumped up to join in the song as Anita's friends. Just like that, they became Sharks girls instead of Maria, Graziella and Velma, and sang along with Sugar, "I like to be in America, OK by me in America, Everything free in America," with Mike coming in just at the right times with his responses, such as that first one, "For a small fee in America!"

Mike danced circles around the girls, and they tried to dance just enough to have fun but staying close enough to Sugar to make sure that she didn't get carried away and fall over or crash into things or people as she tends to do at least five times in every practice. And that's with the choreography, and not all freestyle like Mike was doing around them. It's safest to encourage Sugar to watch and admire and just sway for now, in the interest of everyone else's noses, backs-of-heads, and toes.

~.~

The toes of Kurt and Blaine were the only parts that were in any danger as they watched from their seats and laughed at their friends' antics. They saw no need to play the Sharks boys who backed up Bernardo in his responses to the girls. Mike seemed to be able to handle all of them on his own just fine.

Besides, they had enough to handle on their own, while they had a moment before everyone else arrived and drama class began. There was the collar of Blaine's shirt for Kurt to handle... it had to be straightened, of course... even though it was already perfectly fine, but Blaine didn't mind one bit having Kurt's fingers tracing along his collar and lingering on the back of his neck and caressing his hair line.

That led to the handling of the back of Blaine's hair, because honestly what if he hadn't bothered to check the back of his head in the mirror after gym class? Well it felt perfectly OK once Kurt checked it, but he seemed to decide that it should be checked a few more times to be sure.

Blaine figured he should return the favor and handle the issue of Kurt's jaw, and the way it tapered down to his neck, and he only wanted to run his fingers along all this to help Kurt be sure that he had done a thorough enough job shaving that morning, just to help out you know, not that Kurt shaves all the way across his neck to his shoulder, but it was in fact perfectly smooth there too, Blaine made sure to note, and everything seemed fine all the way down to his boyfriend's clavicle as well, and yup, no razor stubble along his throat, even along his Adam's apple, and under the chin was handled perfectly well as far as Blaine found out here, and oh... yeah... his lips probably need a bit of an inspection... now how should that be handled? Run a finger along the bottom lip? The top lip? They seem fine. But maybe they just need a closer inspection.

It seemed to Blaine that the only way to be sure that those lips were in perfect condition was to take them for a little spin along with his. Yeah. He found them to be in top form. Perfectly awesome, agile lips in tip-top shape. Oh wow, and Blaine might have also suddenly realized that the tongue was doing just fine at that moment as well.

"There's no kissing in the choir room, guys!"

Mr. Schuester. Well, he obviously didn't realize how important it is to make sure that your boyfriend is all warmed up before a dance rehearsal. What can you do with grown-ups sometimes!

Kurt and Blaine shrugged their shoulders and handled the latest situation of each other's now-crooked collars and such, and chuckled as Mike spun himself stealthily behind Mr. Schue as the teacher was turning to grab some sheet music, whipped Tina up into his arms as quick as a flash, smacked a big slobbery kiss to her lips and some along her neck like a hyper puppy-dog while she threw her head back and laughed, and he had her expertly placed right back in her chair by the time Mr. Schue turned back around, to see Mike with his hands clasped behind his back, bouncing on his feet and titling his head in interest for whatever it was Mr. Schue had in mind to say to the group.

"You can take a seat, Mike. We won't be starting off with choreography today. I think we'll start by going over the pre-rumble 'Tonight Quintet' with Anita, Bernardo, Tony, Maria and Riff, so we can get those solo parts down for you before you add in the back-up with the Jets and the Sharks at your rehearsal tomorrow. What do you guys think?"

They all looked at each other and started laughing. Except for Sugar, who had no idea that was the exact song they had been going over before she had arrived.

Brittany spoke up before Sugar could wonder very long though. "I think they need lots of help with that song, Mr. Schue. I don't think it's a mash-up with 'America' in the show, but that's how they do it. Maybe it's because there isn't enough dancing in 'Tonight,' so they wanted to add in another song to it that's more danceable. Or maybe there wasn't enough kissing between Tony and Riff in the first song for them. Maybe we could add that in!"

Mr. Schue seemed to ponder several different tracks he could take in responding to that, and then settled on, "I like your artistic initiative, Brittany, that's the kind of outside-the-box thinking that can take a great show and make it your own, but why don't we stick with the script for now, before we start adding in our own twists?"

Shelby arrived in the choir room and took a seat at the piano. She was the co-teacher and the main force behind the introduction of this semester's new drama class, much to Sue Sylvester's furious chagrin.

"OK. But Mr. Schue? Is it alright if I kiss Consuelo?" Mr. Schue didn't even bother trying to answer Shelby's look of perplexed questioning at this.

He decided to address Brittany in a way that would settle the matter fastest. "Well, Graziella and Consuelo never talk to each other in the musical, Brittany."

"Oh, I don't mean on stage."

The confused look on Mr. Schue's face made Mike speak up to help out. "She likes to stay in character as much as possible, Mr. Schue. It helps her remember her lines."

"Oh, well in that case... Graziella, you can kiss Consuelo as much as you like, as long as it's not while you're in New York in the 1950's. Does that sound fair?"

"Yeah, that's good. Hey, speaking about kissing, I think Tony and Riff should kiss after they talk about the dance, before Tony sings 'Something's Coming.' Wouldn't that be cool?"

Everyone squinted their eyes at her, unable to even follow her logic there, except for Mike, who nodded along agreeably.

Kurt couldn't stop his face from falling down into his palm, and Tina responded to Sugar's questioning look with a shake of the head that indicated _don't even bother asking, _just as the rest of the class started to arrive.

* * *

><p>Blaine assured Kurt, "You definitely look like Riff when you do this number, Kurt, I don't know why you object to 'Stay Cool, Boys' so much."<p>

"It's just 'Cool' actually. Whatever. It doesn't feel like it fits Riff. I don't know. I guess I'm so used to the film version, where someone else sings it in the second half instead. After I'm dead!"

Sugar dragged her eyes away from her game of Plants vs Zombies to exclaim to Kurt, "Wow, you _really_ don't like doing this song!"

"Well, listen," Blaine started, taking Kurt's shoulder in his hand, "you don't have to be born singing every song perfectly for the character. That's what acting class is for, and that's what collaborative rehearsals are about, and we have until Spring to pull the show together the way we want it! When is the curtain, it's in April, right?"

With a sudden chuckle, Sugar piped up, saying to Blaine, "Don't you mean _'wan that Aprille with its shoures soote_' we'll put on a musical? Or should that be _mousikkalle_?"

Blaine almost doubled over in laughter, "We'll do the musical after '_the droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote'!"_

Giggles did nothing to stop Sugar's recitation,_"And bathed every veyne in swich licour, of which vertu engendred is the floure!"_

"Sugar, you have to find your copy of _The Caterbury Tales. _The class copy you keep borrowing is killing both of us!"

"And miss out on all this? I'll stick with the Middle English version. It feels like being able to decipher the easiest foreign language ever, it makes me feel smart!"

"It makes us crack up in class too much, we're gonna flunk if you don't stop distracting me with your '_slepen al the nyght_' and '_sondry londes_' and '_smale foweles_' whenever we're supposed to be following along with what everyone's reading aloud!"

"You're my _smale fowele_, Blaine!"

"You're _straunge strondes_ now and forever, Sugar."

"I hate all the stupid reading aloud in that class. Everyone is so nasally when they read. It's annoying!"

Meanwhile, Kurt and Nick were playing around at the piano, Nick acting as a Jet for the moment to help Kurt get his "cool" on.

"Nick, it's not that I don't see that it can be cool-sounding, and I admit it is kind of cool the way you do it. I just don't want to! I don't like it for my Riff, that's all."

"Hey Tommy,..." Blaine nudged Parkman to encourage him to go over there and sing with them. After all, he _was_ a Jet, and he didn't come to the choir room just to hang out with Blaine (and keep trying to get him to try out for the football team like he and Anderson have been doing for over a week now), he actually did want to get some extra practice in. His girlfriend kept laughing about him practicing the songs all off-key, and he really wanted to surprise her with being awesome at singing, maybe even he'd sing her a song sometime or something. As long as nobody ever found out that he did that for her.

As Parkman walked up, Kurt addressed him. "What do you think of it? I hate the way I sound on the 'boy' notes. Listen: 'Boy-oy, boy-oy, crazy boy!' It doesn't sound cool... it only sounds stupid. 'Get cooley-cool, boy!' Seriously. I feel like I'm rolling along perfectly in-character as Riff, singing and dancing the way he would, looking tough and cool and all that Riff is, and then all of a sudden I'm singing 'get cooley-cool, boy' and the character falls out of my head."

"I bet once all the Jets are singing back at you and we carty-ograph the dance or whatever, you'll get the tone of it down." Parkman couldn't help also adding, "Besides, I can't even get the notes right! Everyone will be looking at me wondering what's wrong with me, and then you'll look totally cool in comparison."

"Oh come on, we'll both be fabulous by April. I just kind of wish we could do it the way they do it in the movie instead."

Blaine reminded him, "We'd have to get someone to play Ice, then, to come in and take over as leader of the Jets with that number if we do it the way it is in the movie."

Sugar brightened up at that idea. "It's really dramatic when they do that in the movie!"

"Well it's just as good the original way," Blaine stated with conviction, "in the first act, where it's written, with Riff doing it! And we're not filming a movie, we're doing the actual musical."

Kurt, usually a purist as well, bowed his head but lifted it again with fresh passion for his progressive approach to theatre. "Well, I think it would be a perfect opportunity for someone who didn't get a part to be able to suddenly take the stage at the end of the musical and kick ass with this one number. How cool would that be? No matter how amazingly I could do it, I think it would be fantastic if someone else did it!"

The sound of the door swinging open made them all look up.

"Yo, Parkman, practice is starting. You're still on the football team, aren't you?"

"Hey, Karofsky." Blaine tried to sound perfectly friendly and welcoming, but he always had a little edge to his voice he couldn't mask when he spoke with Karofsky. That slam against the wire-fence wall of the outdoor stairwell the day they "met" always stuck with him, as well as the first moment he realized Kurt was crying at that table at Dalton with David and Wes, and knowing now who was the cause of those tears back then.

Kurt had become far more forgiving, friendly and natural around Dave than Blaine was capable of, since last year. "What's up Dave? Why haven't you been at rehearsals?"

"I've been... busy." Dave said defensively.

Just as defensively, Blaine retorted, "Too busy to help out your football team?"

Dave wasn't intimidated. "I've been... helping them. In my own way."

"What does that even mean?" Blaine sat back down next to Sugar and refused to look at Karofsky.

Kurt took a somewhat kinder approach. "Dave, they're talking about getting someone else to do your Jets part since you haven't been at rehearsals, which means Coach Beiste will have to kick you off the football team, too."

Dave simply asked, "You're gonna be at the next rehearsal?"

Kurt answered, "Of course we will. Will _you_?"

"Maybe." With that, Dave pushed past the door and sauntered down the hallway.

Tommy shrugged in half-apology for Dave, and followed him out to head to football practice.

Kurt cast a side-long glance at Blaine as if to say "what was _that_?" Blaine answered with a shake of the head and a face that had "I have no idea" written all over it.

* * *

><p>It was more than 20 minutes into rehearsal and Coach Beiste was starting to <em>really<em> get agitated.

Finally, the choir room door opened and most of the football Jets filtered in.

"Well it's about time my football team showed up! Where have you guys been?"

Azimio and a couple of the other guys just shrugged at their coach, and glanced over at Parkman.

Parkman looked apologetically over at Blaine and Kurt, and told the assembled cast, "We've been working tonight on a bit of a... surprise." He raised his eyebrows to Blaine, as if asking for forgiveness for not letting him in on this earlier. "It's kind of like a try out. Or I mean, like, an audition." He stepped aside, and looked away from Blaine and Kurt, and toward the door.

All around Parkman, the football guys started doing their best to look like dancers pretending to fight amongst themselves, squabbling and shouting out things like "We gotta GET 'em!"

Karofsky slammed the choir room door open, and walked right up to Parkman. They walked around each other in a circle, staring each other down.

Then Karofsky turned to the rest of the football guys, the Jets, who had all assembled around the two during their stand-off. "You are cutting a hole in yourselves for them to stick in a red-hot umbrella!"

All the Jets backed up away from him, until they were all flanking the two guys, and cheating a bit to face their stunned audience assembled on the chairs.

"Man, you wanna get past the cops when they start askin' about tonight?" Karofsky addressed the guys on his Left and then turned to the guys on his Right. "You play it cool."

"You wanna live in this lousy world?" He then faced Parkman again, and intimidated him enough to back up and join the Jets to his Left. "Play it cool."

At that, Parkman (obviously chosen by the football guys to play the part of Action) stepped out toward him again in frustration, shouting "I wanna get even!"

Karofsky's (well... Ice's) instant shout back at him of "Get cool!" caused him to back off into the group again.

The football guy obviously doing A-Rab shouted out with a jump, "I wanna BUST!"

"Bust cool!" With that, Ice effectively defused A-Rab too.

The football guy playing Baby John broke from his flank and started running toward the door, yelling "I wanna GO!"

Ice caught his arm and told him sternly, "Then go COOL!"

Brad hit "play" on the stereo in the corner. All of the cast were glued to their chairs, in shock, as Karofsky started to sing. "Boy, boy, crazy boy. Get cool, boy."

He let go of Baby John and looked at him like he was still a flight-risk, singing, "Got a rocket, In your pocket," and grabbed his arm again to lead him back to the Jets, "Keep cool-ey cool, boy!"

All the Jets began to snap their fingers to the beat and move toward each other, forming into a semi-circle, while Ice kept singing, "Don't get hot, cuz man you've got some high times ahead. Take it slow, and daddy-o, You can live it up and die in bed."

"Boy, Boy, Crazy Boy. Stay Loose, Boy!" Not a single non-Jet in that room could believe what they were seeing, as Karofsky danced like a smooth pro who'd been jazz dancing all over the Broadway stage since the hey-day of Fosse.

"Breeze it, buzz it, Easy does it. Turn off the juice, boy!" Even with his fancy footwork and smooth jazz-dancing spins and poses and perfect head placement and dance posture, he managed to look like a bad-ass modern-movie gang member. He looked like something out of a Martin Scorsese movie, only with dancing and singing. Tough-style dancing and singing somehow. And like, GOOD singing. When did he learn to sing like that?

All the Jets seemed to be much better dancers than ever before as they got completely into the acting in reaction to Karofsky's Ice.

Ice kept on motivating them, "Go man, go. But not like a yo-yo schoolboy! Just play it cool, boy. Real cool."

Ice joined the Jets in snapping fingers, now in syncopation with the music. Each guy in turn went into a solo dance, just one move each, things they picked up from watching Warblers now and again doing freestyle crazy stuff. They couldn't do much yet since they hadn't been to more than a handful of dance rehearsals, but their shouts of "GO" and "CRAZY" and "COOL" and "POW" at the right parts in the score were so effective that the whole thing was the perfect back-up to Karofsky's stunning sudden prowess as a dancer and a singer.

They all stalked out through the choir room door snapping their fingers on their way to go find the Sharks, and the room erupted into applause.

People were on their feet cheering, and Shannon (Beiste) wiped a tear from under one of her eyes saying "That's my boys!"

Blaine turned to whisper to his boyfriend, who was grinning from ear to ear and bouncing up and down in his seat whistling in praise of Dave's performance, "Well, I guess you're off the hook for that number _now_, huh, Riff?"

And Graziella clapped her hands excitedly, no longer for the performance, but beaming over at those two, as she watched Riff tackle Tony, the rule of "no kissing in the choir room" be damned.


End file.
